Following the recent success and public support of Governor Gary Herbert’s decision to outsource the office of Utah Attorney General to an Idaho lawyer, the state of Utah has decided to outsource its legislature as well.
Elected members of Utah’s House of Representatives and Senate will retain their titles and salaries, but all functions of law making will be handled by a call center in Bangalore.
Proponents of the move say that outsourcing the legislature to India will improve responsiveness while giving legislators the time they need to work out marital issues and buy land underneath the prison.
Rep. Rebecca D. Lockhart, Republican representative from Utah’s 64th district and current Speaker of the House, noted that outsourcing her responsibilities will free her to better help Utahans by giving her the time to start a cooking blog, and hopefully get really big on Pintrest.
“All I have to do is set my email to forward all church press releases, and memos from Gail Ruziicka directly to Shruti Kurma or Curry or something; I can’t pronounce it, but she’s there! And, she knows how to vote and what bills to bring out of committee for me. Shruti also has a great Naan recipe which I’ll include in my next blog post just as soon as I can figure out how to upload photos!”
Call center employee Rakesh Gupta, who covers legislative responsibilities for Sen. Mark Madsen, Republican chair of the Senate Judiciary, Law Enforcement, and Criminal Justice Committee, was reached for interview by dialing 1-800-555-UTAH, pressing 1, pressing 5, pressing 1 again, choosing “senate” from the menu by speaking the word “senate” loudly and clearly about six times, pressing 0, and then waiting through six minutes of easy listening until connected to Gupta’s cubicle headset.
Gupta, told the Utah Honeypot that he is, “very excite to help running Utah.”
Gupta prepared for his role by taking two years of ESL classes in Calcutta and watching reruns of the 2002 Olympics. He also hopes you will support his bills because the “employee with most passed bills wins call center prize of iTunes Gift Card.”